We will no longer accept a doctor’s sick note as proof of sickness. If you are able to get to the doctor, you are able to come into work.
Surgical Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider having anything removed. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
Each employee will receive 104 holidays per year. They are to be called Saturday and Sunday.
There is no excuse for missing work.There is nothing you can do for deadfriends or relatives. Every effort should be made to have non-employeesto attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled for the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch-hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done.
New Employment Rules!